Looking for Love ?
Many people who consult me are looking for love. But what exactly does it mean to be looking for love? What follows are some of my musings about love and what it means.
What does it mean to be looking for love?
What kind of love are you looking for and from whom. What I mean is that there are all kinds of love. The love you feel for your significant other, the unconditional love you get from your kids, the love you feel for a certain kind of food (chocolate?), or even the love that comes from having a pet.
Let’s face it, looking for love can mean all sorts of things to different people. But if your looking for the love of another person to share your life with, then what do you do?
You can go out with friends and hit the bars, but bars are notoriously bad places to meet the love of your life ( although that is where surprisingly I met the love of my life!.) Sure, you may meet someone and hit it off, but as most of us know picking up someone in a bar and living in a state of happy bliss the rest of your life with them isn’t very realistic. Now if your looking for someone to just have some fun with maybe the bar route is a good idea.
One of my favorites is the blind date. These are usually set up for you by friends, co-workers, family members, etc. The problem here is what they may think is a good match is probably not what you are looking for. Conversely though sometimes YOU don’t know what you are looking for !. My life partner broke the mould of what I thought I was looking for, all of my true friends realised immediately that this was a life changing meeting. Usually though nobody really knows what you are looking for other than you. Sure, they say you will like this person, or you two will get along just fine, but until you meet them you just don’t know, and that can be kind of scary.
Of course there is the old tried and true just meet someone doing something you like because at least then you share that in common. This isn’t necessarily true if you meet them at the grocery store because we all need to eat. If you’re both reaching for the same frozen pizza you could say you have that in common, but is that something to base a relationship off of ?.
If your looking for love and I mean really looking then you need to find someone that you can share your every want and need and thought and desire with. Someone compatible with who you are as a person. In the past this was largely a hit and miss proposition, but with the advent of online dating services it has become much easier to find that special someone.
If you think about it an online date starts out as a blind date but you actually get to know the person before you ever meet them. You are also matched up with people who fit the description of the type of person you would be most compatible with, which takes the stress out of meeting someone who shares more than one thing in common with you. You know, just because you meet someone at the gym doesn’t mean that they share your same interests other than being in shape.
The online dating world provides a simple way for those who are looking for love to find it. No more trying to meet someone on your own or through friends and co-workers. No more blind dates with someone your best friend thinks you’ll hit it off with. A dating service is about the closest you can get to finding the real love of your life without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. Though sometimes meeting up with Jim from your friend’s office may well be a better proposition.
As always though, love yourself first & the rest will follow !