I get many mails from people searching for love & trying to re-ignite a relationship that has gone off the boil. The question is usually “How do I get them to love me ?”. I always answer before you can be loved, or truly love another, you must learn to love yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, but to truly be comfortable in your own skin.
Learning to love yourself
People tend to spend so much of their time waiting to be loved; they hope love will find them, so they searching for that special love and end up feeling empty and lost if they don’t have it. Contrary to popular opinion, life doesn’t usually work like that. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect which is the only sure way to create love in your own life that you will eventually share with others. When people begin to expect love from an external source, and that external source-someone or something- does not fill their void and fantasies, it will only lead to the person feeling worse than before. For one to be able to be loved, they must first love and respect themselves as much as they do others.
Learning to love yourself is not an easy task, but the hardships are well worth the risk. It is good to express yourself in any way you can; if you have an opinion, let it be heard, if you have something on your mind, put it put there. Expressing yourself will go a long way in helping you to value yourself and your opinions, instead of allowing other people to influence you. Besides learning to properly express yourself, you should also learn to stop punishing yourself for past mistakes. People often fall into the trap of punishing themselves for events that transpired in the past; this behavioral mind set is very detrimental to learning to truly love one’s self. Instead of punishing yourself for a past mistake, learn to look at your past experiences as a lesson learned. Forgiving yourself is perhaps one of the biggest steps in learning to love yourself. Patience and persistence also go a long way in helping you achieve your goals of self-respect. You should start to work towards what you want to achieve by doing something positive, learning to have a more positive outlook or being enthusiastic about your situation. You should adopt the attitude of defining yourself through the things you have accomplished instead of ruminating on the things you do not have yet. Learning to love yourself as you are now because it is just as important as loving yourself when you feel you are perfect.
Lucille Ball once said you must “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world”. You must learn to be comfortable with who you really are; express yourself, let your voice be heard, play, sing, do whatever you wish. You shouldn’t be afraid of what others think of you, they too, most likely feel the same way you do and want to express themselves just as much as you, but are afraid to do so. Learning to love yourself is the only way you can truly move forward in life.
I truly hope you manifest everything you desire.
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